Unfamiliar Hope

The hour was moving fast. Georgia had only a few minutes left to get from her desk to her car and drive to her appointment. She was going to be late...again. Despite her pre-planning efforts, Georgia could never seem to get to this appointment on time. She didn't have trouble getting to other appointments on time; just this one.

When she stumbled through the office door, the receptionist didn't even bother to look up at her.

"They're already in the conference room waiting for you."

It was 6:20p, 1 hour and 20 minutes beyond quitting time for this receptionist.

"Thank you. Sor...sorry. I'm...I'm late." Georgia attempted to apologize.

The receptionist wasn't moved, "Ummm hmmm." She grabbed her purse and her leftover lunch and rushed out the door.

Georgia opened the conference room door. There, seated around the table were Robert and his attorney. Her attorney was standing in the corner on the phone. When her attorney saw her come through the door, he motioned to her to have a seat.

"Sorry...traffic." Georgia attempted to apologize.

"Counsel, we are here again trying to strike a settlement agreement between your client and Mr. Matthews so---"

Georgia's attorney interrupted as he joined the conference table. "Counsel, we are aware of the purpose of this meeting. My client is ready to engage in a win-win agreement."

"Based on your client's past behavior - not to mention her history of tardiness - my client is not convinced that your client is interested in a win-win of any kind."

The attorneys went back and forth as Georgia's mind went elsewhere.

Georgia found her mind back in her most recent coaching session. She was explaining to her coach about feeling despondent about her future. The divorce proceedings were crushing her spirit. She felt lost in what seemed like a maze.

With skill and insight, her coach asked her to take an assessment unfamiliar to Georgia. The results were in.

"Georgia, your scores suggest you are suffering from something called low psychological hope."

"Excuse me? I don't understand. I'm a very hopeful person."

"Yes. The average person describes themselves as very hopeful: they hope it won't rain on their daughter's outdoor wedding. They hope the upstairs neighbor's rambunctious 4-year-old son won't stomp the floor above their head for the 3rd night in a row. They hope the Dodgers will win the World Series. They hope they won't go bald before the age of 60. But that's not the type of hope I'm talking about."

"What type are you talking about then? Those all seem to me to be appropriate expressions of hope."

"Psychological hope is unfamiliar to most people. It is defined as the belief that your future will be better than your past and you have the power to make it so. The last part, 'you have the power to make it so' distinguishes hope from a wish. Wishing is what is described in the examples I gave you. They are not hope. They are appropriate wishes. You don't have the power to keep the rain away. You don't have the power to get the Dodgers to the World Series."

"I don't get it."

"According to experts, hope - that is the psychological type - is the best predictor of well-being and future success than any other measure. It is made up of 3 scores. The total of which determines where you are on the hope scale."

"What are the 3 scores?"

"Glad you asked! #1 is having a worthwhile goal. #2 is having willpower, and #3 is having waypower."

"I understand goals and willpower like motivation, right?"

"Right."

"I don't understand waypower."

"Waypower is a strategy or plan of action to achieve your goal. You can have a goal and willpower but lack waypower. That reduces your overall score."

"Oh. Okay..."

"You can have a goal and waypower but lack willpower. That reduces your overall score. You need all three for hope to rise."

"I see. Why do I have low hope? What was the score that caused me to have low hope?"

"Willpower AND waypower. You scored very low on a strategy or plan of action and low on your motivation. You have a clear goal which is to end an unhappy marriage. You don't have the motivation to go through with it. And, you don't have a clear plan of action to make it happen."

"That makes sense. That totally makes sense." Georgia thought for a long time. "What do I do?"

"Raise your waypower and your willpower. I'd start first with waypower because it's less emotion-driven. Once you have a way, you can tackle motivation."

"Divorce sucks!" Georgia bemoaned. "Can you help me?"

"They don't call me the Resilience Coach for nothing, Georgia!"

"Georgia. Georgia? Georgia!" Her attorney shouted.

"Counsel, I HOPE your client has been paying attention. We do need to move this along."

"Georgia, you don't have to decide now. You can think about it for a few days."

Georgia looked at her attorney, then at her husband. She looked at her husband's attorney. She turned back to her husband, looking directly in Robert's eyes. With new confidence, she declared,

"HOPE. That's exactly what's missing. I'll come back with rising hope."

Georgia picked up her purse, said goodbye, walked out of the conference room, and drove home.

Your Call to Action

Take the Hope Assessment HERE, and record your 3 scores. How hopeful are you? Share your score with a friend and invite them to do the same. May hope rise in you and become your familiar way of living.